English-majoring Christianity

In his essay "Cultural Studies and its Theoretical Legacies," Stuart Hall wrote,

"On the one hand, we had to be at the very forefront of intellectual theoretical work because, as Gramsci says, it is the job of the organic intellectual to know more than the traditional intellectuals do: really know, not just pretend to know, not just to have the facility of knowledge, but to know deeply and profoundly."

Can I apply this to Christianity? I think I should. Tonight at Worship Jam (man, God touched my heart SO much!), Eric said that followers of Christ should not pretend to have it all figured out, but we must be real, be genuine.

Now, I've heard that pretty often, but sometimes it takes a quote from homework to really open my eyes. In this quote, Hall is talking about people who study cultural studies, but let's pretend he was talking about Christians. "On the one hand, we have to be at the very forefront of Christianity because it is the job of Christians to know more than the unsaved people do: really know, not just pretend to know, not just to have the facility of knowledge, but to know deeply and profoundly."

In applying this quote to Christians, I totally agree with the second half: we who follow Christ shouldn't pretend to know Him or know the answer to the hard questions of life; we shouldn't assume our ability to know Him absolves us of work; we need to know Him deeply and profoundly. What we also need to know and acknowledge, though, is that the first half of this statement is not true. We do not have to be at the very forefront of Christianity; we don't have to know more than everyone else. We can learn from the widows and orphans, from the least of these. All we need to know deeply and profoundly is Christ.

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Can I take a quick tangent and then make a slight complaint now? First, I think being an English major deepens my knowledge of Christ. The skills I've learned in the past three years have deepened my quiet times, challenged my ways of thinking, opened my eyes to new sides of God. That may sound totally intellectual, but God has used intellectual discussions in my spiritual walk. I really like it when my English homework makes me think of Jesus. I really like being challenged spiritually when I do my homework. I really like how God truly permeates everything I do. That's the tangent. Here's the complaint: though Jewell calls itself a Christian college, I wouldn't feel comfortable bringing up this kind of thing in a class. Class is not the place for such discussions, or applying this Stuart Hall quote to the Bible isn't appropriate or useful here. Jewell tries to be open to all religions, faiths, opinions, but that doesn't really extend to the classroom. I don't expect my classes to be Bible studies or Sunday Schools, but I do with the college was open to the different kinds of and uses for academia.

Regardless, God is in my classrooms and I hope I allow Him to be in my discussions. It's like Dr. Pratt said in chapel last week: "Just as we can go nowhere and not find God, we can go to no intellectual place and not find God already there, waiting for us."

Worship Jam and my future

You make everything glorious

And I am Yours

What does that make me?

-David Crowder, "Everything Glorious"

Jesus, Savior, pilot me

over life's tempestuous sea;

unknown waves before me roll,

hiding rock and treacherous shoal.

Chart and compass come from thee;

Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

Man, God spoke to my heart at Worship Jam tonight. So I graduate in May, right? And people ask me, "Joy, what are you going to do after you graduate?" And I ask myself, "My gosh, what am I going to do after I graduate?" And I ask God, "God, what am I going to do after I graduate?" And so far, God tells me: nothing. And I tell myself: ask again. And I tell other people: "Oh, I have a lot of options, right now I'm considering publishing or local government, but I haven't ruled out grad school and I'm eventually going to get my teaching certificate."

Earlier this week, I had "coffee" (we actually both got free cups of water) with my friend Eric. Eric is a fantastic guy and a fantastic man of God. One of the things Eric and I talked about was "arriving." How as Christians, we often feel like we're waiting for the Lord to fulfill one of our Jesus-goals. Once He makes us (choose at least one)
a) more patient
b) more trusting
c) less gossip-y
d) without addictions or vices
e) a better person
then we will have Arrived. We will be A Christian. Or we wait for the Father to answer one of our prayers. When He gives us a job, a spouse, a child, a better grade, happiness, a better hair day, then we will be Complete and we will have Arrived.

But see, that's just not true. One of the amazing and amazingly hard things about following Christ is that you never Arrive. You may become more patient, but you're still waiting on that job. You got an A but your treasures are material possessions. Even if you check all the boxes of waiting and accomplishing and gaining...well, you can never check all the boxes. We cannot be Jesus. We can strive to be like Jesus, but we cannot Arrive at Being Jesus. And God loves us for it. Eric spoke at Worship Jam tonight, and as he said, God never withholds His love from us to teach us a lesson; He never punishes us for not being Jesus. He rewards us for being His children. He loves us because He loves us.

So, back to Arriving. I realized two things about my future tonight: first, I realized that I had been waiting to Arrive at my future. My attitude toward "what am I going to do after graduation" was as if that was the last question I was ever going to have to ask God. Once God sent down a lightning bolt or a carrier pigeon with a note saying "Apply to this company" or "Go to this grad program," then I would have Arrived at my future.

Well, that's just dumb, isn't it? It's like the saying, "Tomorrow never comes." I'm not going to Arrive at my future. The Lord will answer this particular question, and then He will answer all the questions that come after it. He's always going to be the pilot. And the wonderful thing is, He's so good at it! The answers to my questions are going to be glorious.

He makes everything glorious. Whatever the plans He has for me to prosper and not to harm me (Jeremiah 29:11), they are glorious! He will make them glorious! God's direction can never lead me to an inglorious end. Whatever I do in May, it will bring glory to my Father. It won't be a mediocre job that is fine for now: it will be glorious! It won't be a good-enough grad school that's, you know, better than doing nothing: it will be glorious! It won't be waiting to fulfill my potential: it will be glorious!

I mean, gee, it just doesn't get better than that!