So far, the most stressful part of wedding planning has been the guest list. Everything else has come pretty easily, but the guest list has caused more anxiety and angst than anything else. I blame this entirely on my childhood. More specifically, I blame this entirely on my parents.
See, when I was a kid, I had a birthday party every single year. I didn't invite everyone in class, though (partly because some of them were boys, ew), so my parents had a very strict rule: no discussing your birthday party in front of people who aren't invited!
It was all about being considerate. How rude, my parents would suggest, to talk about how much fun the sleepover will be and how we're all going to see Mary Kate and Ashley Save Their Dad from a Lonely, Single Life Again and how we're going to eat pizza...how rude to talk about this in front of a girl who didn't get to do those things with us! In fact, you shouldn't even mention a birthday party in front of a non-invitee, because what if they ask if they're invited? Saying "No" is humiliating for both parties! (Ha. A pun.) If they ask...they should probably be invited.
Apparently, I internalized this fear of being inconsiderate when it comes to parties, which is why the guest list has been so stressful. It's not like I just can't mention the wedding around people. "What are you doing for your wedding?" "Oh...not much, probably. Just hanging around." And here's the kicker: EVERYONE I KNOW ASKS ABOUT THE WEDDING. If I went by the elementary-school-birthday-party rule of thumb, Robert and I would be inviting roughly 1513 people, not including the total strangers like the cashier at Price Chopper and the vendor on the other end of the phone at work.
I feel guilty when people ask me about my wedding, and in my head, I'm thinking, "You're going to have to imagine the flowers and dress I'm describing now, because, I'm sorry, you're not invited." I realize that some people are just being polite when they chat with me about the wedding. But some people are genuinely interested! They genuinely care! And they genuinely aren't invited!
So let me post this disclaimer to the blogosphere world (i.e. the two people who read this): if you're not invited, it's not because you're not important! It's just that we reached a tipping point on numbers. I mean, really: between my immediate extended family and Robert's immediate extended family, we reach close to 100 people. That's not even getting into great-aunts, -uncles, -grandparents, second cousins, church family, Jewell peers, work buddies, and high school friends.
I guess the point is, I wish we could invite everyone. But we can't. The end.
